Perfectionism Doesn’t Always Look Perfect

Perfectionism doesn’t always look perfect. In fact, it rarely does.

It often looks like exhaustion—pouring every ounce of yourself into something, convinced that if you just get it right enough, work hard enough, or control every last detail, you’ll finally feel safe, successful, or worthy.

It looks like juggling too many things, stretching yourself thin, and yet still feeling like you’re falling short. It feels like chaos—like no matter how much effort you give, it’s never quite enough.

And this? It’s one of the deepest wounds I see in women, particularly in mothers, leaders, and entrepreneurs. It’s so widespread that it often feels normal. But normal doesn’t mean healthy.

Perfectionism carves us out from the inside, leaving us hollow. We chase an impossible standard, believing there is some point—some final achievement—that will make us enough. But that point never arrives. Instead, we are left with the lingering ache of unworthiness, reinforced by a world that constantly tells us to be more, do more, achieve more.

The self-development industry, advertising, capitalism—all of it thrives on this illusion. We are subtly (and not so subtly) taught that happiness, love, and success are things we earn through relentless effort rather than something we are already worthy of.

What Perfectionism Steals from Us

In this pursuit of an unattainable ideal, we lose touch with what truly matters. We sacrifice:

• Authenticity – Because perfectionism asks us to mould ourselves into what we think will be accepted, rather than who we really are.
• Presence – Because we’re always looking ahead, trying to pre-empt failure, rather than living in the moment.
• Possibility – Because perfectionism locks us into rigid ideas of success, making us blind to unexpected opportunities and alternative paths.

But there is another way…

Breaking the Perfectionism Cycle: Expanding Your Capacity

Rather than striving for flawlessness, we can shift our focus to capacity—our nervous system’s ability to hold space for discomfort, uncertainty, and imperfection without spiraling into stress or self-doubt.

When we build our capacity, we create room for:

• The unexpected—trusting that even if things don’t go to plan, we have the resources to handle it.
• True connection—because people don’t resonate with perfection; they resonate with openness, honesty, and realness.
• Collaboration over competition—when we drop the need to prove ourselves, we create space for deeper, more meaningful relationships.
• Choice in the moment—freeing ourselves from rigid expectations and allowing space for intuition and flow.
• Bigger possibilities—ones beyond what we ever imagined when we were stuck in the cycle of control.

This shift requires trust—trust in ourselves, trust in others, and trust in something greater than us.

Mastery Beyond Perfectionism

Once we’ve untangled our self-worth from our achievements and grown our capacity to hold uncertainty, we step into self-mastery.

This is where we stop scattering our energy and start choosing, with intention, where to invest our time, creativity, and effort.

It’s where we operate from a place of regulation, presence, and deep knowing—not from stress, fear, or the need for validation.

It’s where we create for the love of it, rather than to prove something.

And that? That’s where we step into our full power as leaders, creators, and change-makers.

Are you ready to break-free from perfectionism?

Want to find a way of living your life or running your business that takes you beyond perfection? Take a look at The Fierce Leader Method to see how it can help.